Graduation Day

The purpose of this blog is to document the things that run through one's head while intoxicated. The name is supposed to reflect this - Sunday Syndrome, that is, what happens when you have drunk people over at your house (or you drink a lot yourself) over the weekend, and on Sunday the light filters through your windows and you drag your carcass out of bed and you go in the kitchen and you see all the bottles and you think "god why is this here? Who left all these beer bottles out? Who...who puked in my sink? Why is this wet?"

That's a really terrifying question. Why is this wet? You went into your kitchen and you saw, or god forbid, you picked up something that was wet and you wished, you wished with all your soul, you wished that you were just hallucinating, that you were drunk as shit and you didn't sit on your couch into a puddle of beer (or worse).

So tonight I was drinking with my friend Ryan. It's graduation day. We don't usually need an excuse to drink, and not having one usually doesn't stop us. But graduation day slows down the entire city. Parents come in and suddenly everything takes forever. Waiters become surly, gas pump lines are a hundred miles long, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But there it is, tonight was the last night for Ryan as an undergrad, and we had to drink beers and be merry. Merriness didn't really find us though.

Shirtless o'clock started early. Usually it's at 1 AM but tonight the bare chestedness began at about 11:30. This should have been the first sign that it was going to be a bad night. Perhaps physically it was not. I've managed to keep my dinner down at least. But emotionally, we all have tough times.

Speaking of which - I have a tough time typing this. This blog is going to be my drunk blog, and I am not going to update it unless I have been chugging down that vile liquid. That sounds like a blowjob joke and maybe it is. It happens. Sometimes bad things do happen to bad people. But all I can hope for is that tonight some people realize that because someone will not be around does not mean that they are leaving. And that maybe some people remember that they too used to scream with us, that all that emotion was never really out of our domain.

Tonight I wish that things had turned out differently, like I always do. Looking back we can always see what we did wrong, that maybe we could have turned things out differently, maybe we could have been stronger, maybe we could have laughed more, lived more, loved more, maybe in the end we would have had somebody to be crazy with, and maybe that wasn't too much to ask for. The summer is a long time and things do change. It's interesting how you wish that you want some things to change, growing up, but you don't want the conqsequences. Human nature I guess.

But in the end there's always something left unsaid, something left undone.

But you know, that's that. It's graduation night. People gotta sleep before they walk in a few hours. All I can hope for is the confidence that I too can jump in headfirst, that I can take a dive without cracking my skull on the bottom.