Don't want to be second best

So it's been a while I guess, as the ever-lovely Meghan pointed out this afternoon - maybe I've been neglecting my duties - drinking myself into an early grave but entertaining those few who follow this blog in the process. I'm in that awkward stage of intoxication where I'm not really sure how drunk I am, but I strongly suspect it's not really that drunk. I managed to drive home I guess, and I managed to call Nathalie and joke around with her reasonably well, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

And I guess the greatest triumph is that I am here and in fact, not dead in a ditch, no matter what anybody may wish.

I probably shouldn't have come out at all tonight, seeing as how the LSAT is less than three days away, and I am woefully underprepared, but it was Tricia's birthday I guess and while I may not have had an obligation I guess I just wanted to come out, to see some people, to drink and smoke and continue my slow slow death, like all the slow deaths that came before and never quite managed to catch.

So I guess there's that. I can talk all I want about friends and drink but it won't really change anything. I'm not sure what I want to talk about but I really want to change something tonight, I really want to make a difference. But there's nothing really to change, nothing really to say except I can talk all I want about drinking games and ex girlfriends and girl friends and hash browns and Waffle House and the fact that if you laugh at a historical joke, a really really obscure one, I just might love you forever.

Holly was right, I do need a vacation. After this test I am going to skip town and maybe I'll end up in the Gulf where I think I belong, drinking myself into a stupor like I want to be. Maybe lately I've been trapped by all of this fear.

Oh: the Waters in the daytime, while not quite as creepy, are just kind of disappointing. It looks like an abandoned seaside town in the daytime, cause all the houses are built with siding, and it's all dirty and makes the place look not like a haunted skullsoleum but more like a tourist town that's out of season. Waterscape, my other usual creepy standby, also now has a house in it, and something that looks like a bus stop.

My creepy pike road neighborhoods are all growing up! Sniff.

I should probably go to bed. I don't know what I'm talking about but I do know what I want to ramble about, and as usual it's nothing good.

I guess there's not much to do but just going to leave me to myself. I've been doing this too much lately. I do need a break, and maybe a taste of the ocean would do the trick.