i just need a little diet cola, or maybe just a little lifter puller

too much excitement, too many friends dropping like flies. spent the weekend drunk and exhausted, dehydrated and uncomfortable. ryan came back again and every time it's like nobody ever left, makes me think we'll do this forever. almost made a lot of mistakes going back north, what's the point of going back to people who go back to other people?

makes you realize maybe you were never the first choice, just last one remaining.

i feel so hideously detached, uncaring about everything. i just want to graduate, want to make a clean break. i've exhausted all the possibilities around, and now I need a new place to ruin, need new girls to ruin me.

what am i doing with my life?

something i wrote a long time ago that i think is relevant, that really seems to sum up how i've been feeling recently: why do i spend so much time remembering when you've already forgotten me?

i need a new feeling.